an atheist viewpoint

thoughts from a non-theist

Seems I’ve Upset Bob Sorensen!

Witness the following ‘wisdom’ from Cowboy Blob Sorensen –

Buon giorno. It’s time for a spot of fun. I’m going to speculate and play with words.

“What’s with the Samhain, boss? We’re nowhere near Halloween.”

Because it’s not actually a Halloween post, Ernie. Hey, where’s Nicky?

“Him and Lela went to see that guy about that thing you told them to.”

Oh, right.

Quite a few people don’t know that “Samhain” is not the name of the guy in the billiards parlor. It’s an important occultists’ holiday (witches, druids, Satanists and that sort of thing), and is most commonly pronounced SOW-en. Here, pig pig pig! Another pronunciation is so (long “O”, as in “So what?”) -WEEN. Best wishes with those.

The city in the map is Halesowen. It also has an odd pronunciation, sounds like “Hail Zowen“. Blending the Celtic pronunciations on Samhain to get SO-wen, and you can get “Hail, Samhain” out of it. Hail Satan. Which is fitting, since it’s not all that far from Druid’s Heath.

I can easily picture a drunken Brit atheist mumbling “Hail SO-wen” as he tries to find an Internet connection so he can spew his bile for his dozen adoring but mindless fans. (Another of my speculations is that atheism is another form of Satanism, so it’s fitting for him to say, “Hail Samhain”, speech slurred by cheap rum.) If he cannot find a Wi-Fi hotspot, he begs people for a place to recharge his Mac and to access the Internet. This does not last long, as nobody can stand him for more than a few hours.

You see, he lives in his auto because after being evicted from several flats in a short span of time, nobody wants to rent to him. That, and because he is unemployable due to outbursts of extreme rage. Would you hire or rent to someone like that?  He’s high-risk for your reputation. And for your safety, capice?

Don’t let hate destroy your thinking, kids.

The original post is here. Now, Bob will no doubt howl that he’s not named anyone*, but let’s be honest here (something I know you have trouble with, Bob)  – are there any other atheist Mac users in this area of the West Midlands that Bob hates enough to jizz out a pathetic spurt of twattery about? So, let’s cut the crap and just take it as read that our bitter little Calvinist chum is talking about me.

Those claims about me then, how accurate has Bob’s parody pistol been? Not very.

I can easily picture a drunken Brit atheist mumbling “Hail SO-wen” as he tries to find an Internet connection so he can spew his bile for his dozen adoring but mindless fans.

Can you? You can ‘easily’ picture that, eh? Wow! That’s incredible considering I don’t drink, and don’t live in Halesowen! I can’t speak for a ‘dozen adoring but mindless fans’ but can confirm that I’ve over 1000 very smart followers on Twitter, and that the podcast averages between 50,000 and 195,000 listeners per episode.

(Another of my speculations is that atheism is another form of Satanism, so it’s fitting for him to say, “Hail Samhain”, speech slurred by cheap rum.)

Another claim that I’m a drunk? Could Bob get it MORE wrong?

If he cannot find a Wi-Fi hotspot, he begs people for a place to recharge his Mac and to access the Internet. This does not last long, as nobody can stand him for more than a few hours.

Weird! Why would I go to a town I don’t live in to beg people for power outlet usage when I could use the nice fast broadband in my flat? Do tell, Bob!

You see, he lives in his auto because after being evicted from several flats in a short span of time, nobody wants to rent to him.

I live in my car?? Wow! I didn’t realise! Shiiiiiit! I wondered why I had been coming home to the same flat for more than 2 years now! Oh, wait, that’s the EXACT OPPOSITE of what Bob has claimed! Another miss for the wannabe Cowboy!

That, and because he is unemployable due to outbursts of extreme rage. Would you hire or rent to someone like that?  He’s high-risk for your reputation. And for your safety, capice?

Hmmm, I’ll have to tell my employers about these bouts of ‘extreme rage’! Perhaps I ‘Hulk Out‘ and don’t realise? Thanks for putting me straight, Blobby! I didn’t realise that 4 years of unbroken employment was actually 48 months of homelessness and poverty!

I’ll turn to Bob for the closing thought –

Don’t let hate destroy your thinking, kids.

– he’s spot on there, and he’s a graphic example of what happens when you do.

EDIT: Mrs An Atheist Viewpoint is similarly unimpressed, and has started a new blog to express her feelings on Bob’s post.

EDIT 2: Pvblivs has blogged about Bob’s (or ‘Norman’, as he calls him) latest failure. Read his take here.

*and he’s done EXACTLY as predicted! What a knobber! Just go back to his page and read his addendum….really, Bob, you seem to think you’re FUNNY when you spew out idiocy like that? Keep it up dickweed, you make yourself look worse than a million of my posts pointing out what a twat you are ever could!

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14 thoughts on “Seems I’ve Upset Bob Sorensen!

  1. Yeah, I also figured that Norman was trying to talk about you. He does have a penchant for libel, though. I already gove my own thoughts that he attributes to “atheists” that which he does himself. So, all those various claims are likely true of himself — except that I still still think he is a child living with his parents.

  2. Hey! I am the atheist that drinks cheap rum, Mister! Man Dan is a hoot, almost as entertaining as Nide. By the way Alex, Derik and I feel it is really inconsiderate of you to live one third of the way around the world thus making it difficult to be on your podcast:) What is up with that, don’t you know the universe revolves around the US of A? Ok, I am ducking out of this blog for fear of Alex’s rath!

  3. oops, I said Dan, meant Bob.

  4. BathTub on said:

    Congratulations, though admittedly the bar for ‘things that upset stormy’ is fairly low.

  5. Dewi Hughes on said:

    I know Bob’s just trying to be plain speaking, but the way he uses “capice” in EVERY blog post, just reminds me of Ellis, the coke-snorting moron from the film Die Hard.

  6. PsychoAtheist on said:

    He also fails at the interwebs, a simple search reveals:

    Halesowen is recorded in the Domesday Book of 1086 as being larger than Birmingham. The manor and town was known as Hala (from the Anglo-Saxon word “halh”, meaning nook or remote valley), until it was gifted by King Henry II to Welsh Prince David Owen and became known as Halas Owen.

    Bob is quite simply a complete and utter fuckwit.

  7. Well, I have added my own comment about the exchange on my own blog. Feel free to let me know if you think I made any mistakes.

  8. Though they are both slimy, at least Rick Warden is superficially, more polite. For an interesting exchange, read on from here.

    He and Stephen deal with their particular issue in later posts above the one I link to, by the way.

  9. Good grief. And you thought Sorensen was bad?

    Spelling mistakes are from the site I linked to:

    Our prayer circle has never failed to acheive our hosts granting of the scripture we pray. for direct intervention against you as you are a true demon to America. Luke 9:1 We will not stop our prayers until you stop the evil you do with Lucifer on a daly basis. Luke 9:1 But not against you Mickey. We know by your internet site and your book who it is to be. Now for our prayer, we pray that the women who work in your MFRR and the women in your family will befall fast moving breast cancer which can not everbe cured. We pray this for Leah Bruton, and Becki Miller, Patricia Corigan, Chris Rodda, Edie Disler, Vicky Garrison, Kristin Leslie, Melinda Moeton and Joan Slish. And you evil clan too, we pray this for Bonnie Wiensten and Amanda and Amber Wienstein and the woman lawyers Cariline Mitchel and Katherin Ritchy and all women of all who work at with for Military Freedom Against Religon Foundation. know that we pray and pray hard all the days until you stop your destruction of our American army and accept Christ Jesus as Lord and join His army.

  10. @Alex

    sadly that is the same conclusion I have come to, there seems to be little point in having any kind of dialog with them for they have gone completly around the bend.

  11. Pingback: Bob Sorensen’s Libel « an atheist viewpoint

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