an atheist viewpoint

thoughts from a non-theist

Paul Taylor Couldn’t Fit One Good Point Into His Article

 Eric Hovind might be a thoroughly nice bloke, but he doesn’t half keep some retarded company! Take this belch of idiocy from Paul Taylor, a witless charlatan I’ve covered in the past (here, and here), it’s called ‘Noah Couldn’t Fit Millions of Species into the Ark’, and deserves looking at paragraph by paragraph…

Have you heard this before? There is an unspoken corollary to the statement, as well. What the skeptic is really saying is “Noah couldn’t fit millions of species into the Ark, so the Bible is obviously wrong!”

Actually, Paul, most serious theologians don’t take the Noah story literally, and acknowledge that the tale is lifted almost entirely from the Epic of Gilgamesh, but I take your point – you hear this as a valid objection to the literal nature of the Flood story quite regularly…in fact I’d be surprised if your readers haven’t heard it many times.

Let’s do something radical. Let’s look at what the Bible actually says.

Oh goodie! Let’s!
Of fowls after their kind, and of cattle after their kind, of every creeping thing of the earth after his kind, two of every sort shall come unto thee, to keep them alive. (Genesis 6:20)

There are, in fact, some limiters on the quantities of animals that Noah needed to take into the Ark. First, the animals taken were “cattle” and “creeping things”. This implies domestic and wild land vertebrates. The word translated “fowls” includes birds, but also includes other flying animals, such as bats and, I suggests, pterosaurs. No invertebrates were required. Invertebrates can often survive today’s minor floods, and would have been able to withstand the Flood, for example, by being on floating rafts of vegetation. Obviously, there was no need to rescue marine vertebrates either. Some of these would have been killed, as evidenced by fossils, but enough would have survived to maintain those animal kinds.

So, let me get this straight, are you saying that because Noah took ‘kinds’ onto the ark he didn’t need to take members of individual species? So a pair of wolves rather than all the different species within that group? Is that right? Also I’d like to know where it says Pterosaurs were in the ark, as there’s absolutely no evidence AT ALL anywhere on Earth that dinosaurs and mankind weren’t separated from each other by millions of years…

The second thing to notice is that Noah was not ordered to rescue two of every species, but two of every kind. So Noah would not have needed to rescue two lions and two tigers, if those species had existed at the time of the Flood, which I doubt. Instead, there would have been two of the cat kind on the Ark. Maybe these were similar to the extinct sabre-toothed tiger. Other species of cat would have developed from this pair by rapid speciation after the Flood. Speciation is NOT evolution, because it involves variation of the existing gene pool, not the spontaneous generation of new genetic information.

Ah! So you ARE saying that! On the one hand you don’t believe in evolution, but on the other you’re demanding we accept a super accelerated evolution to explain the rather sticky mess you’ve already gotten yourself into. But what’s this?

Speciation is NOT evolution, because it involves variation of the existing gene pool, not the spontaneous generation of new genetic information.

AHAHAHAHAHA!! ‘Speciation is NOT evolution’?? Make your mind up man! Your lot regularly claim ‘micro-evolution’ happens but that there’s no such thing as speciation, yet here you are claiming pretty much the exact opposite! I have to say, Paul, I think that is one of the most confused and stupid thing I’ve ever seen a Creationist say….and Creationists say some REALLY stupid things (take Kent Hovind’s explanation for marsupials ONLY being found in Australia for example The koala, wombat, and kangaroo would have been at the fringe of the migration wave (they did not want to be eaten).  When they got to Australia, they reached a dead end.  The ice caps melted, the water filled in the oceans, and closed these critters off from their predators.” – insane).

It is estimated that, even including dinosaurs, there would have been about 8,000 kinds before the Flood. 

Estimated by whom?  Are there statisticians all around the world figuring these things out? Do ‘Creation Mathematicians’ exist? Seriously, are there things like this?
So the Ark had to rescue just over 16,000 animals. The reason why I said “just over 16,000” is because there would have been seven of each clean animal kind. Let’s add a few more animals, then, and assume there had to be 30,000, which is definitely much more than necessary. The average size of these animals would be the size of a sheep. So Noah had to fit the equivalent of 30,000 sheep on the Ark. This would have taken less than the total space on just one of the three decks. Therefore, there was plenty of room to take these animals, along with enough food, and mechanisms and systems for getting rid of waste, with plenty of space left over!
Hilarious. Paul has had to redefine ‘evolution’ and ‘speciation’, invented life saving rafts of vegetation, and then because 30,000 sheep can be crammed into a certain space, assumed that all the animals (different sizes, all with different diets and needs) would fit in.
Paul, please tell me this – where did Noah keep all the fresh food needed to feed the animals? How did his family deal with the tonnes of dung generated every single day? Which of them had AIDS, or Ebola, or Syphilis (as these would have to have been carried by a living host to still be around today, given that you claim evolution doesn’t happen)? How did Noah stop predators eating their prey? Have you any idea how many people are needed just to run a modern zoo, which will have a significantly smaller number of animals, all in special habitats, with food being brought in from outside on a daily basis? Do you know that Koala bears will ONLY eat fresh eucalyptus, and will actually starve rather than eat anything else? I could go on and on and on, so ridiculous is the story of Noah’s ark. 
Creationists, I’ll leave you with this pearl of wisdom from Augustus of Hippo, I’ve highlighted the most important part – 

“It not infrequently happens that something about the earth, about the sky, about other elements of this world, about the motion and rotation or even the magnitude and distances of the stars, about definite eclipses of the sun and moon, about the passage of years and seasons, about the nature of animals, of fruits, of stones, and of other such things, may be known with the greatest certainty by reasoning or by experience, even by one who is not a Christian. It is too disgraceful and ruinous, though, and greatly to be avoided, that he [the non-Christian] should hear a Christian speaking so idiotically on these matters, and as if in accord with Christian writings, that he might say that he could scarcely keep from laughing when he saw how totally in error they are. In view of this and in keeping it in mind constantly while dealing with the book of Genesis, I have, insofar as I was able, explained in detail and set forth for consideration the meanings of obscure passages, taking care not to affirm rashly some one meaning to the prejudice of another and perhaps better explanation.”

See? he got it, and that was written a millennium and a half ago.

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