an atheist viewpoint

thoughts from a non-theist

Crazy Creationist Couple Crap-out

“Personally, I think they looked things up on the Internet and saw I was a creationist”

It’s the story that has been met with almost universal ‘what the FUCK??’s from the online atheist community. Not content with his failed ‘Son of Man’ ministry-that-wasn’t, or his roundly panned ‘books’, Creationist simpleton and Kent Hovind wannabe, Joe Cienkowski wants to start his own church!

We have fellow non-believer Marc Hall to thank for uncovering this story on the STL Today website. And what a story! A local church building, left empty, had become the target of Joe and Brandy Cienkowski’s holy ambitions (seems that Brandy has forgotten all that stuff she said about Joe being a ‘deluded creep’ just a couple of months ago).

According to the article

The Cienkowskis filed paperwork asking the commission’s approval to turn a former church at 620 Niedringhaus Ave. into a worship center, food pantry and base for youth programs. The Cienkowskis also sought to live in an attached apartment.

There’s nothing wrong with the idea of doing something for the homeless, and anywhere new for the young to hang out is also a good thing (though would you want your kids near a man who thought it was ok to send a link to porn to a child?), and I’m sure the fact that Brandy had been filing divorce papers just a few months ago really sped things up when they were figuring out where to go. However, it’s the final sentence that seems to get to the heart of what this story is really about…..the Cienkowski’s wanted a new house. It’s not surprising, considering Brandy had previously described their home as a ‘trailer’

The building that Joe and Brandy hoped to acquire

I wouldn’t be surprised if this has its roots in Brandy demanding Joe either start making money from his ‘ministry’ or get a proper job. He’s been slightly less of a regular feature on Twitter over the last few weeks, which might indicate he’s actually doing a day job now (though his tweet regularity has slowly increased as time has passed), but I think the church idea was probably the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow that Brandy and Joe were banking on.

So what happened? A unanimous vote against the proposal by the Granite City planning board. Joe reckons it’s his religious beliefs that caused them to be stopped in their tracks, telling a reporter ‘I think they looked things up on the Internet and saw I was a creationist‘ – it would certainly explain why I had a lot more visits to this blog from people searching Google for ‘Joe and Brandy Cienkowski’….

The reality is far more what we would expect to see from Joe Cienkowski – officials just didn’t think he had the wherewithal to follow through on the project, one of the members of the board who voted against the project, Sandy Crites, said ‘It’s a dream they would like to do, but didn’t have the substance behind it‘, and the board went on to suggest that the lack of any resources, or backing from a church group meant that the Cienkowskis were singularly ill-equipped to create what they dreamt of. This will come as no surprise to those of us who’ve followed Joe’s ‘career’ over the last few years, as time after time he’s presented himself as a man whose ambition (and self image) far exceeds his reach or skills.

It also probably didn’t help that the Cienkowski’s potential new neighbours signed a twenty name strong petition to prevent the proposed redevelopment of the church building. 

There’s a postscript to the whole thing, in the course of the application it’s come to light that Joe doesn’t have a licence for his home remodelling business, something that Brandy hilariously told the press he didn’t need. It’s the kind of ‘oooops!’ fuck-up that we’ve come to expect from Joe Cienkowski.

Read the whole story here, and you can download the planning agenda including their pitch here.

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